Reviewed by Bill Cumming

This may be the most important book written in the twentieth century. It outlines a path to loving-kindness and describes how and where it can be applied in such a way that pragmatic, wonderful, spontaneous results are present and possible.

“As I came to realize that how I design the experiments of my life actually determines what the outside reality will appear to be, I began to apply this understanding to relationships. I came to see that my participation in any relationship – even what I am thinking about myself or the other person – has a profound effect on its quality since there are no separate objective realities. This means that I possess the power to actually affect what happens in my relationships, becoming a cocreator in the quality of interaction.”

By asking incredibly important questions and giving hundreds of exercises that will support every reader in learning more about where they got their ideas about love, Dr. Grayson brings the possibility of really being “present” in any relationship within reach of every person.

The Litmus Test for Distinguishing Between Counterfeit and Empowering Love:

1.Do you feel hurt or angry when you do not receive anything back from your giving?

1.Does your giving make you feel energized, or exhausted and more drained?

1.Does your giving make you feel happy and joyous, or does it result in your feeling deprived, unhappy or depressed?

1.Does your giving make you stronger or weaker? Do you have better healthy or do you get sick more often from your type of giving?

1.Does your form of giving bring fear and worry or peace and joy?

1.Does your giving make you feel empty or full?

1.Do you usually worry in relationships or do you trust them?

1.Do you try to control or can you let it be?

1.Are you attached to outcomes or can you accept that all things will work together for the ultimate good?

1.Does your form of giving help you feel emotionally stronger and more secure or does it makes you feel more at the whim of others’ moods or behaviors?

And what’s all this talk about giving? I thought this book was about love? It is impossible for me to overstate the importance of this book. It is grounded in the security of a loving-kindness that is as powerful as any I have known. It is dedicated as follows:

“To my first teachers of unconditional Love: my mother, my father, and my aunt Lois.”

And for those of you who do not have Dr. Grayson’s parents or his Aunt Lois, know that you are loved absolutely and unconditionally. It is the one thing that neither he nor I can give you directly and know that it is there nonetheless.

With all my love and every blessing!

Namaste!

Bill and (I will be not so very presumptuous) Henry