(Using television and movies as a vehicle for allowing young people to be able to discern value and substance.)

When the children were little, even though we owned only a small black and white television, they became aware of the media, mostly through contact with it and exposure to it through friends and neighbors. After a while they began to ask to be able to watch certain programs that appealed to their age group. The request that really got my attention was for the Dukes of Hazard, an adolescent adventure show with fast cars and hot pants (called Daisy Dukes). Having watched about fifteen minutes of the show and determining that it had no social redeeming factors and actually encouraged disrespect for women in general and the law, I could see no reason to bring it into the house.

Neville and Joy were five steps ahead of me, however, and pointed out that my decision to not allow them to watch The Dukes of Hazard was nothing more than censorship, nicely veiled in the language of values and good judgment. They were, of course, absolutely right. So, I made a deal with them. They could watch The Dukes of Hazard with me and then they would watch a one hour show of my choosing, usually The Waltons, again together.

We would talk about plot, theme, character development, when there was some (hear the mild laughter). In a very short period of time, Neville and Joy became quite able to watch anything and be able to extract from it its intended purpose, whether the creators valued the audience and what impact it might have on people in general.

Looking back in the United States, I actually think we were fortunate to have a pretty good assortment of television alternatives that were solid entertainment and made people think, such as The Twilight Zone, Little House on the Prairie, The Waltons and Mash. Today, much of the landscape has been taken over by reality T.V., where winning is certainly more important than how you play the game or run the race. I am told that the most successful (monetarily) television program series in the history of television is The World Wrestling Federation, a collection of contrived matches and sexist extravaganza. The thing that concerns me greatly is our emphasis on entertainment that never comes to resolution. Problems are not solved except by power and force. There is little talk about reason or equanimity. Even those programs that are supposedly about solutions, involving coaches or psychologists are often focused on the sensational nature of the situation rather than the capacity of the individual to solve the problem.

Recently, it was suggested that we create a series of commercially available movies that can serve as a focal point for looking constructively at the nature of human existence and the power that resides within all people. If parents and children watch them together (in age appropriate categories), they represent an incredible opportunity for discussion and exploration. What follows are the first few films we have selected, a very brief description of the film and the possible areas of discussion they are likely to trigger. It is my profound hope that films from around the world will be added to improve this list which is clearly provincial because of my limited exposure.

It’s a Wonderful Life

A film about the opportunity created when an angel gives a compassionate but despairingly frustrated businessman the opportunity to see what life would be like if he had never existed.

Topics: Everything that people do counts. Everything is interconnected. It is important to keep perspective as we struggle with life. Failure is declared only be the individual. What things are most important in life. The power of loving-kindness.

Fried Green Tomatoes

An unhappy housewife befriends an old lady in a nursing home, who has lead an incredible life and shares her perspective.

Topics: Living a life based on values. The strength that comes from an examined life. The real meaning of friendship. The creation of a sense of community. It isn’t what you do but rather how you do it that makes a difference.

The Seventh Cross

In Nazi Germany in 1936 seven men escape from a concentration camp. The commander puts up seven crosses in anticipation of their capture and execution.

Topics: The true nature of friendship. The importance of taking a stand. The gift of loving-kindness and generosity with no expectation of return. There are no inconsequential actions. The power of friendship.

Monster (age thirteen and about)

The story of Aileen Wuornos, a prostitute who ends up killing her customers in an attempt to survive without giving sexual favors. The most powerful cinematagrahic portrayal of the causes of violence and their connection to the way adults lead their lives I have ever seen.

Topics: The causes of violence in people and our society. The need for connection in those who see themselves as damaged. The importance of every human interaction. The power that exists in all people. The futility of trying to “fix” people.

Finding Neverland

The story of J.M. Barrie’s friendship with a family who inspired him to create Peter Pan.

Topics: The ability to create a new reality out of desperation. Loving-kindness manifested as a gift not a barter strategy. The beauty of the eyes of children. The real meaning of love. How to keep the innocence of childhood as adults.

Forest Gump

The fictional story of a man who may not be bright by the standards of society, and demonstrates courage, will and insight in a variety of very challenging situations.

Topics: The nature of friendship. How is courage encouraged? What determines a failure? What impact can keeping your word have on those around you. What is the real nature of loving-kindness?

Mississippi Burning

The story of the kidnapping and subsequent murder of James Chaney, Andrew Goodman and Michael Schwerner, three civil rights workers involved in the registering of black voters in the South in 1964.

Topics: The power of segregation. The root causes of racism. The nature of courage. The nature of mob violence. The nature of prejudice.

Life is Beautiful

A Jewish man has a wonderful romance with the help of his humour, and must use some of the same skills to protect his son in a Nazi death camp.

Topics: The power of creating context. The power of humour. The nature of selflessness. The nature of courage. The creation of trust. The power of friendship.

To Kill a Mockingbird

Atticus Finch. A lawyer in the Depression-era South, defends a black man against an undeserved rape charge, and his kids against prejudice.

Topics: The power of segregation. The root causes of racism. The nature of courage. The nature of mob violence. The nature of prejudice. Raising children who develop their own standards.

One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest

Upon arrival at a mental institution, a brash rebel rallies the patients together to take on the oppressive Nurse Ratchet, a woman more dictator than healer.

Topics: Who is actually mentally ill? What determines mental health? The nature of real communication. The nature of friendship. The power of giving. The power of loving-kindness. Who is really locked up and how?

The Pursuit of Happiness

The story of a struggling entrepreneur who loses everything except his son and ends up homeless on the streets of a big city.

Topics: What really counts in life? Where does courage come from? What does adversity create?

Gandhi

The biography of Mohandas Gandhi, a lawyer who became the leader of the Indian revolts against the British through his philosophy of non-violent protest.

Topics: The nature of courage, will and determination. The power of non-violence. The power of love. The nature of conflict. The essence of humility, grace, dignity and human kindness.

Million Dollar Baby

A hardened trainer/manager works with a determined woman in her attempt to establish herself as a boxer.

The real nature of beauty. The essence of courage. The power of determination. The power of friendship. The importance of completing the past. The meaning of love. The importance of knowing how to let go.

Antwone Fisher

Antwone Fisher, a young navy man, is forced to see a psychologist after a violent outburst against a fellow crewman. During the course of treatment a painful past is revealed and a new life begins.

Topics: The causes of violence. The power of connection. What completion means. The nature of real family. The power of belief in a person. The power of love.

The Green Mile

The story of the lives of guards on death row leading up to the execution of a black man accused of child murder and rape, who has the power of faith healing.

Topics: The nature of real goodness. The corruption of power. The nature of goodness. The power of friendship. The nature of violence. The power of courage.

Seven Pounds

An IRS agent with a fateful secret embarks on the extraordinary journey of redemption by forever changing the lives of seven strangers.

Topics: The nature of responsibility and/or guilt. The power of loving-kindness. The nature of courage. The importance of completion. Living according to standards.

All of these films are brilliantly acted and directed by some of the best film has to offer. Many have won Academy Awards. They represent the beginning of a resource for parents regarding important conversations with our children. It our hope that you will find it of use now and as it is expanded.

Love

By: Bill Cumming

On this Valentine’s Day, 2010, here are some questions that cross my mind regarding the importance of love. And before we look at those questions, following is another shot at a current definition:

LOVE: the holding of one person by another in a place of ultimate high esteem. Wanting the best for them. If food or shelter are needed, providing them as necessary. The being in a place where it feels as if there is only one of us. Surrounded by treating people with dignity and grace. May include strong, positive, bio-chemical reaction. In the space of absolute loving-kindness, it is not possible to do intentional damage.

Here are the questions that cross my mind:

For whom would you not want to have this feeling?

What part of loving someone requires them to do anything?

What might happen if we found a way to love ten more people a day for a lifetime?

Can you imagine the feeling in the world as we are successful?

Heck, what would the feeling be in the grocery store?

Would there be any more hunger? Children dying without need?

What might the world be like if Adolf Hitler had known loving-kindness as a child?

Since we have clearly been given the capacity for what is described above, what is it in me that is unwilling to have it be this good?

Make yourself a year filled with love and joy that you create!

Namaste!