What I realised during the past week whilst attending the ‘Coaching Happiness’ course with Dr. Robert Holden is that the majority of the participants do not experience themselves as loved unconditionally or experience their value and worth in the world as a given. It amazed me that so many people professionals that are out there assisting others (and doing a fab job a lot of the time) do not have those two basic assumption, understandings/experiences.

It really helped me to recognise the major impact that ‘What One Person Can Do’ has had, and continues to have, on me and my life. I have an underlying sense of well being that is not easily disturbed. I do not need anything from anyone. I can listen to people’s judgments about me and remain unaffected. I broke my toe and it had no effect on my well being. It affected my ability to walk considerably but it did not affect my mood. I did not become a victim, complain or allow my well being to be shaken.

I got home Friday night, went off to casualty, waited patiently, read my book, talked to other people there and remained truly content. Not a false positive front, not fake but authentically happy.

I did not recognise how astounding this behaviour really was until I spoke to other people. During Thursday and Friday when people asked what I had happened to my foot I told the story:

“You know how it’s fun to slide down banisters? Well sometimes when you land your foot goes forwards and your little toe goes sideways…” with a smile on my face. Not as a front or to make it into a joke, but because it genuinely amused me.

People seemed to think I was some kind of freak of nature as I wasn’t crying, complaining, whining or being a victim. They were surprised at how calm and cheerful I remained. My thought to myself was ‘Well, why wouldn’t I be?’ I was confused and curious. I started to assess what was going on in my head and what I realised was all I had in there were events. No judgments, no story, no poor me, no commentary and I thought ‘how interesting…’ I found the experience quite fascinating.

I told the story of what happened and people experienced the pain for me. I started to think how amazingly complex the human mind is. There I am with a broken toe, smiling and cheerful and there are people with no break, perfectly intact toes experiencing physical pain from only thinking about what had happened to my foot.

I started to think about the young children I come into contact with. I see them bump their heads, fall over, scream, yell, cry and almost as soon as it’s begun, it’s over. AND forgotten! I think the difference is they have no story. The fact they hurt themselves a minute ago doesn’t mean anything to them. It hurt, it stopped, they moved on. I wonder when we stop doing this and instead start telling a story? Being in a role? victim, helpless, clumsy, unfortunate etc.

The fact of the matter is I fell, I broke my toe, I got it X-rayed, it will heal. Why would anyone allow this experience to affect their well being? I think because they don’t recognise they have a choice.

This work (What One Person Can Do) is profoundly powerful and pervasively life altering. I notice it in the little things and am amazed at what the little things expand into.

What if everyone knew they were loved unconditionally? What if everyone knew and experienced that every second of every day they have a choice? A choice to smile or frown, complain or appreciate, love or fear, accept or reject, be present or go unconscious.

This work is so simple but not simplistic, simple but not easy, simple but not common sense, simple yet profound.

It excites me to think of the enormous difference it makes to a simple experience AND the far reaching consequences for the rest of my life. I would love to do this work with every coach, counselor, therapist, teacher, parent, person and watch the amazing transformation in every situation imaginable.

Beth Stanley
1 July, 2010

Beth Stanley is a Contentment Coach and can be reached at www.hannahbethcoaching.com. She lives in Reading, England.

MY PURPOSE IN LIFE

The following was written by Beth about two years ago. I stand by my original reaction! With all my love and blessings!

Namaste!
Bill

My Purpose in Life

To come from a place of loving kindness in everything I do
To create safe supportive environments that allow others to grow and explore
To keep growing positively and changing when necessary
To not know all the answers but to be curious about finding out
To bring more fun and joy into the world and lead by example
To nourish my own spirit and take care of myself so I can be able to assist others
To be present in each moment and maintain my consciousness
To follow my dreams and live a wonderful, joyous, exciting, varied life and in doing so allow others to do the same
To recognise the gifts that are in each person, and believe in them, so they can find them too To be authentic and promote this in others
To remain detached from any specific outcome and allow the universe to work, knowing everything is happening just as it should

Beth Stanley
13th September 2008

Editor’s Note: This purpose in life statement is one of the best I have ever read. Beth recently completed “What One Person Can Do” and plans to work with young people who have been damaged and abused. The possibilities bring tears to my eyes!