It seems there is always “one more thing.” The last word, a new course, the newest invention. A few days ago, I had an experience that allowed me to see even more clearly that what is really necessary at this moment is not “another thing.” Let me see if I can describe the event accurately.
In talking with a dear friend and client, who we will call, Sarah, I was reminded that her sister, Faith, had passed away some years ago on this day in a tragic car accident. I could hear the sadness in Sarah’s voice and I asked what was going on inside? She told me she was sad about missing her sister and I asked, “Isn’t this the sister that was the love of your life, the love of everyone’s life? Who brought joy and laughter to everyone she touched? So you celebrate her life by being sad?” At this point my friend asked what was wrong with me? “Wasn’t it OK to be sad about the loss of such a dear person?”
“Of course,” I said, “And it seems there is more going on here than just her passing. Was there anything incomplete about her death other than the sudden nature of it?” I could hear the quiet tears begin to roll, even four thousand miles away. As it happened, my friend had been studying in another country for five months prior to Faith’s death. Additionally, her family had decided that she could not take the shock of finding out on the phone, alone, that her sister had died. They waited three and a half days until her fiancée could travel to be with her and tell her about her sister’s passing. The sadness was about not spending those five months with her sister and the anger that her family had removed those days of grieving. As we talked, I began to cry, uncontrollably. It is not unusual for me to cry and this was sobbing. In the middle of those sobs I told Sarah that her sister loved her absolutely and unconditionally and that she wanted her to know how much she cherished her. I can’t tell you if those were my words or Faith’s. I know I could not have stopped speaking them if my life depended upon it. As the tears subsided, a sense of peace and tranquility transcended the entire conversation. It was complete in absolute and unconditional loving-kindness. The family was well intended and ill advised. She could love them and not like their choices. She could feel that her sister was at peace and present in every real sense. It was one of the most moving experiences of my life. The presence of loving-kindness is what happened. The pure, unadulterated presence of loving-kindness. It is an unmistakable force.
Marianne Williamson: “The past is over. It doesn’t matter who we are, where we came from, what Mommy said, what Daddy did, what mistakes we made, what diseases we have, or how depressed we feel. The future can be reprogrammed in this moment. We don’t need another seminar, another degree, another lifetime, or anyone’s approval in order for this to happen. All we have to do is ask for a miracle and allow it to happen, not resist it. There can be a new beginning, a life unlike the past. Our relationships shall be made new. Our careers shall be made new. Our bodies shall be made new. Our planet shall be made new. So shall the will of God be done, on earth as it is in Heaven. Not later, but now. Not elsewhere, but here. Not through pain, but through peace. So be it. Amen.”
If the word God bothers you, think love, think Allah, think the Buddha, think the power of “Mother Nature.” Whatever you do, do not think institutional church, unless every one of its actions are about absolute and unconditional loving-kindness.
Ms. Williamson continues: “That’s the greatest miracle, and ultimately the only one: that you awaken from the dream of separation and become a different kind of person. People are constantly concerning themselves with what they do: have I achieved enough, written the greatest screenplay, formed the most powerful company? But the world will not be saved by another great novel, great movie, or great business venture. It will only be saved by the appearance of great people.
Only love is real. Nothing else actually exists. If a person behaves unlovingly, then, that means that, regardless of their negativity – anger or whatever – their behavior was derived from fear and doesn’t actually exist. They’re hallucinating. You forgive them, then, because there’s nothing to forgive. Forgiveness is discernment between what is real and what is not real.
When people behave unlovingly, they have forgotten who they are. They have fallen asleep to the Christ within them. The job of the miracle worker is to remain awake. We choose not to fall asleep and dream of our brother’s guilt. In this way we are given the power to awaken him.”
What is necessary is for us to become about loving-kindness, in absolutely everything we do, our businesses, our families and every relationship. And this is the most pragmatic, practical, economically critical thing we could do to bring about a solution to the most pressing issues of our times.
Don Miguel Ruiz continues: “There are three masteries that lead people to become Toltecs. First is the Mastery of Awareness. This is to be aware of who we really are, with all the possibilities. The second is the Mastery of Transformation – how to change, how to be free of domestication. The third is the Mastery of Intent. Intent from the Toltec point of view is that part of life that makes transformation of energy possible; it is the one living being that seamlessly encompasses all energy, or what we call “God.” Intent is life itself; it is unconditional love. The Mastery of Intent is therefore the Mastery of Love.
At best, being a warrior gives us an opportunity to transcend the dream of the planet, and to change our personal dream to a dream that we call heaven. Just like hell, heaven is a place that exists within our mind. It is a place of joy, a place where we are happy, where we are free to love and to be who we really are. We can reach heaven while we are alive; we don’t have to wait until we die. God is always present and the kingdom of heaven is everywhere, but first we need to have the eyes and ears to see and hear that truth.
We have a dysfunctional dream of the planet, and humans are mentally sick with a disease called fear. The symptoms of the disease are all the emotions that make humans suffer: anger, hate, sadness, envy, and betrayal. When the fear is too great, the reasoning mind begins to fail, and we call this mental illness. Psychotic behavior occurs when the mind is frightened and the wounds so painful, that it seems better to break contact with the outside world.
We must forgive those we feel have wronged us, not because they deserve to be forgiven, but because we love ourselves so much we don’t want to keep paying for the injustice.
First, we need to forgive our parents, our brothers, our sisters, our friends, and God. Once you forgive God, you can finally forgive yourself. Once you forgive yourself, the self-rejection in your mind is over. Self-acceptance begins, and the self-love will grow so strong that you will finally accept yourself just the way you are. That’s the beginning of the free human. Forgiveness is the key.
The love that makes me happy is the love that I can share with you. Why do I need to deny that I love you? It is not important if you love me back. I may die tomorrow or you may die tomorrow. What makes me happy now is to let you know how much I love you.”
Forget thinking about loving-kindness as soft or sentimental. You want schools that produce students that take responsibility for themselves, they must be peopled by administrators and teachers who know their own value in life and love all people. They must be able to separate people from their behavior in order to reinforce the capacities for goodness in every person. That’s what Jaime Escalante did in East L.A. It is what Upward Bound was all about. Oprah Winfrey says that program allowed here to become who she is today, because somebody believed in and cared about her, perhaps for the first time in her life. People who take responsibility for their own lives don’t wait for welfare agencies to solve their problems.
Don Miguel continues: “You are what you believe you are. There is nothing to do except to be just what you are. You have the right to feel beautiful and enjoy it. You can honor your body and accept it as it is. You don’t need anyone to love you. Love comes from the inside. It lives inside us, and is always there, but with that wall of fog, we don’t feel it. You can only perceive the beauty that lives outside you when you feel the beauty that lives inside you. The only way to heal your wounds is through forgiveness.
Just imagine if all humans could start being truthful with themselves, start forgiving everyone, and start loving everyone. If all humans loved in this way, they would no longer be selfish; they would be open to give and receive, and they would no longer judge each other. Gossiping would be over, and the emotional poison would simply dissolve.”
We cannot behavior modify people into wellness, yet our prisons are called “corrections institutions.” In order to change, people must first experience that they are loved and valued and that their behavior is not who they are. Then and only then will the recidivism numbers come down.
We must work with children so that each one knows without question or doubt that they are loved, before they begin to bring their own children into the world. People are having children who do not care about their own lives. It is impossible to give what you do not have. If you believe that you are not loved or do not have the capacity, think again.
You are loved beyond measure!
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SUPERCOACH ACADEMY |
Please join Michael Neill and me in Los Angeles, January 15-17, 2011 for the first of six weekends of the 2011 Supercoach Academy. To enroll or find out more, go to www.supercoachacademy.com
Thank you!
