by Bill Cumming
THEY ARE ALL MY CHILDREN
The only reason a person of any age bullies another person is because they do not feel well about themselves. Every unkind word, rude gesture, physical abuse, sexual harassment, in short every unkind, unloving behavior is motivated by the unwellness of the person doing those things.
We have come a long way since bullying programs consisted of one person saying, “boys will be boys” and another telling the recipient to “suck it up and be tough.”
We now have “anti-bullying” programs that talk about the inappropriate nature of bullying, provide counseling and programs for the bullied. Certainly, a step in the right direction.
If we want to end bullying and all kinds of other abuse of a much more dramatic nature, a few things must be understood by every man, woman and child on the planet. There is no occasion when it is appropriate for one human being to denigrate, tease, bully, hit, abuse, torment, oppress, intimidate or speak ill of any other person.
We need to start demonstrating genuine loving-kindness toward all people. We must manifest the instructions of every significant religious leader known to human kind: love one another and grow in wisdom.
We must stop acting as if bullying was not an issue for anyone other than young people. Here are a few things each of us can do that will have an impact:
1. We must stop blaming circumstances for our feelings. Rain or snow do not make crappy days, people do.
2. Stop telling your children that what they are doing upsets you. What actually upsets us about our children’s behavior is that we haven’t communicated effectively.
3. Don’t ask your children what happened today, ask them what kind of a day they created for themselves?
4. Every child needs to come to know that they are loved absolutely and without condition. Following is a video I made a few weeks ago for every young person:
5. Stop watching and supporting toxic programming or entertainment. If programs contain a great deal of “making wrong,” cutting people down and denigration, stop watching and tell the sponsors why.
6. Stop gossip. Don’t talk about anyone unless they are in the room or you communicate the same thing to their face.
7. If you do not feel loved absolutely and without condition, watch the video, read Greg Baer’s book, Real Love. There are people who love you!
8. Begin the process of healing all of us from within yourself!
The human mind and heart, like other living things, grow in direct proportion to how well they are fed and nurtured. You are loved absolutely and unconditionally. Yes, by me, to most of you, a complete stranger. There may be others and that’s wonderful! The important thing is that it only takes one person loving us absolutely and unconditionally for us to be able to access our own limitless supply of loving-kindness, the fact that our value and worth are a given and there is always a choice.
Following is a TED talk which I gave earlier this year:
Reprinted with permission:
They Are All My Children by Bill Cumming
Absolutely Write! Publisher of: The Business of Teaching
http://www.absolute-write.com/magazines/businessteaching.html
