Every month, as I sit down to write something I hope will be useful to our readers, I look to see what seems most important or has caught my attention relative to supporting people in creating lives of value and purpose. Recently, I have been working with a variety of people from all corners of world, yet the issues seem to have a common thread that is important and worth looking at carefully.

These are bright people, who have worked at being awake, alive and constructive in relationship to life. Yet given all they know, they continue to skirt the arena of well-being without coming to embrace it completely. They put themselves in situations that create chaos. They speak ill of others. They judge and evaluate. They don’t take time to do self-care. They watch television and read articles that promote values that are use oriented and/or designed to denigrate other human beings.

Andre Agassi has been recently undermined for telling the truth about his attitude toward tennis and use of methamphetamine. His peers condemn him. So a man tells the truth and others judge and evaluate. What does that say about their well-being?

It seems as though in another highly publicized case, no amount of money or prestige has anything to do with happiness or satisfaction.

We watch garbage TV that promotes the values of “there are no values,” just winning. The most successful TV show in history is a complete sham, choreographed and scripted, promoting the worst in sexual attitudes and behaviors. Some of the most successful business executives in other arenas participate as if it were a kindergarten picnic.

The most interesting part of all of this is that each of us actually knows when we are doing things that contribute positively or negatively, produce constructive or destructive results. And yet we go right ahead and do it anyway.

If we agree that damage only comes from damaged people, then what makes us think we can dabble in damage and not have it have an impact?

In what circumstance is it appropriate to dump trash on community property?

Which family member (your Mother or sister or daughter) will you offer up as “spoils of war?”

When is it appropriate to leave your mess for someone else to clean up?

It must then be OK to leave your poop in the toilet for another to deal with?

If you leave your dishes in the sink, I assume it would then be OK for you to be served on someone else’s used breakfast plate? All the more protein, right?

Consequently, if we actually know when we are contributing positively and when we are contributing negatively, it should be relatively easy to see if we are doing things likely to increase the number of people who experience themselves as loved and powerful, thus contributing more positively to themselves and others.

For those who convene our conversations, we ask that they work diligently at being present prior to any interaction with other people.

Take a minute to assess where you stand in relationship to these areas of “being present:”

Do I demonstrate absolute loving-kindness toward all people, under all circumstances?

Who is it you believe you cannot love?

Is it who they are or their actions that are the issue?

Do all people really want to love, be loved, know that their lives count and that they are capable of making choices that allow them to take charge of their lives?

What if the people you interact with on a daily basis or as clients remind you of those you cannot love?

How will you treat them?

Do I strive to be mindful at all times? (aware, conscious, present, considerate, listening).

Before I begin any interaction with people, do I clear any issues that might keep me from being present?

Do I seek to contribute in every environment?

Do I always put the toilet seat down?

Do I leave messes for others to clean up?

Do I leave things in better shape than I found them?

Do I practice outstanding (I look forward to it), results producing, spiritual self- care?

Am I disciplined about the following:

Doing all things with energy, enthusiasm and as if they were the most important job in the world?

Generating energy as needed?

Creating contexts in all environments?

Being free of things you believe you cannot live without? (If you think you cannot start the day without that cup of coffee, stop drinking coffee for a month. If you must drink Diet Coke, quit.)

Being considerate of those around you? (Having no habits that you know irritate others.)

Being complete with all people in your life. Acknowledge those who have contributed. Understand and forgive ALL damage.

Be in touch with your purpose in life?

Keep appropriate standards, boundaries, tolerate nothing?

Being clear that what you create has nothing to do with upsets and highs around you?

Doing what is wanted and needed at a moment?

Sounds like a lot taken in one big chunk and it really is about how I am going to be in this minute. Great seekers have spent months and years looking to find enlightenment and awareness. Each time I choose to be awake in this moment, I build muscles for being awake in the next.

So, if I know what to do and I can do it, what might be my possible reason for not doing so?

What happens if the secret to life is simple and available?

What happens if everyone is special? And I suggest they are.

If we agree that everyone is special, what would I do differently to create learning environments where each person could discover that?

If everyone were special, then wouldn’t a person’s screw-ups be an aberration, not who people are? I wonder why we can’t correct people into wellness? (Think prisons.)

Request for Movie Suggestions!

LIKE: GIFTED HANDS
By: Bill Cumming

In the next few months it is our intention to put together a new curriculum, using cinema to punctuate particular aspects of the capacity of human beings. Joy recently shared a wonderful movie with me about Ben Carson, a world-renowned neuro-surgeon. Given the circumstances of his early life, with the exception of his amazing Mother, the odds of him becoming Chief of Pediatric Neuro-Surgery at Johns Hopkins might look slim to some people. Hard work, discipline, courage and an almost unwavering belief in himself opened those doors.

Please send us the names of movies you believe share a critical piece of the human spirit in a way that may bring them to light in ways simple words might not.